so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
