My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
