this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
