Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize