rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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