from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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