the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
