Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
