He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
someone get that fucking seahorse.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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