he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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