Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
