What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
