Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
