A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
