i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
