So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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