But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
