Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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