Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
