ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
