That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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