is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize