I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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