I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
