He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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