Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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