Please, let me fuck your mom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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