where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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