She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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