the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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