Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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