I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
