so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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