The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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