Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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