around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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