Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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