Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
