dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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