dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
