Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
