he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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