Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize