well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
