Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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