Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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