I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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