You're completely useless in the revolution.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
