bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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