Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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