I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
