Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The air taste purple.
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