If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
