Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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