it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
