I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize
