So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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