Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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