last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
