Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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