I'm drive I can fine osifer
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
