..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize