spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
