I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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