I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Vodka?
Forever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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