It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize