dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
